Changing Your Life Situation: How it Helps You Find Good Health and Gain Freedom

I’m an advocate for change. But only if the change will impact one’s life in a positive manner. For example, don’t start drinking five beers a night so you can shove your troubles under a table coaster. You need to find what it is inside of you that’s contributing to your unhappiness and make the changes necessary to let that little stream of happiness we all have within ourselves bubble to the surface. It’s not easy. Sometimes we really have to dig to discover it. And sometimes we don’t even know where to place our shovel.

Today I will focus on a discussion of Richard Davidson’s six emotional styles. According to Davidson, people consult their emotions when making complex decisions. I understand that. When I make a decision as simple as choosing what clothes to put on, I generally let my mood guide me. Occasionally I will think, “I want to be warm. It’s cold outside.” And I will choose my warmest, albeit least attractive, clothing. But if I want to feel good about myself, I will choose something less practical, thus making an emotional decision.

The same goes for food. We can say to ourselves, “A salad without dressing is optimal for my weight loss plan today.” And then the television stops working, a pair of pants gets ruined in the dryer thanks to a renegade chap stick, and a fight ensues with the spouse. The undressed salad is a distant memory. “I need a hot fudge sundae,” is the emotional response. And it leads us to unhealthy fare, if only for its quick pick-me-up.

The six emotional styles according to Davidson are as follows:

1)   Resilience

2)   Outlook

3)   Social Intuition

4)   Self-Awareness

5)   Context

6)   Attention

In the next several weeks I’m going to choose each of these styles and dissect them. How do they interfere with my choices? How do they help me obtain my goals? How can apply this to a healthy lifestyle while I weather upcoming challenges in my life? What about you?

Today, we’ll discuss resiliency.

According to the American Psychological Association, “Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress -- such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. It means "bouncing back" from difficult experiences…Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.” (http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx)

How adept are you at making plans and taking steps toward your goals? Do you lack confidence or motivation? Do you find yourself struggling with indecision? Or are you impulsive and quick to react either in a positive or negative way?

The APA has put together an article that contains “10 Ways to Build Resilience.” (http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx) In a nutshell, they explain the most successful ways to become a more resilient person, including keeping positive about the future and having a clear head during stressful situations. It’s easy to be swept into a tide of fear and doubt, but we need to grasp a lifesaver instead of allowing the waves to tug us down where we can’t breathe.

If you have a problem—especially one that feels insurmountable—you need to find a way to step back and look at it objectively. Let’s say that there are layoffs happening where you work. You need your income and health insurance benefits, obviously. You also know that you are likely to be the next person cut loose. You could wait it out, gnawing on your fingernails until they bleed. You can come home to your family and take your anger and stress out on them. You can guzzle a six-pack and gobble down an entire bag of Doritos. But these things will not quell your stress. In fact, they may add to your problems. It’s time for you to look at the problem from a different perspective. To increase your resiliency.

The APA suggests turning to friends, family, and organizations such as church for support. Talking it through can help alleviate the fear. Accepting that there are some situations out of your control is another positive coping mechanism. Finding a new goal…such as searching for a new job or considering a career change…will help put you back into the driver’s seat. Exercise can help because you are taking care of yourself, which is a mood lifter. I know, I know. All these suggestions sound fantastic, but actually making them happen takes work.

But humans are adaptable. Behavior modification isn’t a work of fiction. They say it takes three weeks to make something a habit. Whether or not that’s true, I do know that after a month of regular exercise I began to no longer put it off. It became part of my daily life, blending into my schedule so seamlessly I now feel I’m missing something if I don’t do it. I’m heading headfirst into a very stressful situation very soon, but I feel I am, for the most part, resilient. I am going to try to look at the challenges ahead in a positive manner. I won’t let fear guide me, because otherwise I will make poor decisions by working out of my emotional state instead of my intellectual state of mind.

What about you? Where do you stand? If you’re more likely to eat seven Big Macs when you’re struggling with adversity than you are to hit the gym, you may want to take a look at how you’re handling problems. And you may want to change that. Starting today.

http://richardjdavidson.com/news/how-it-came-to-be/

Where to find Richard Davidson's book: http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Life-Brain-andLive---ebook/dp/B005GSYZ0M/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1349981258&sr=1-1&keywords=richard+davidson

How to Succeed at Your First 5K Race

I ran my first EVER 5K this past Saturday. Generally, 5K's are fundraisers, and this was for domestic violence. I paid $25 to run, although people could walk as well. People volunteered their time and companies like the local Subway and Abbott's offered coupons for free products. Tim Horton's gave out free coffee and smoothies. So not only did I monetarily help out a charity, but I received amazing perks as well!

Okay, let me first say that I know people who really prepare for this sort of thing. They run almost daily. They time their speed. They get fitted for special sneakers. This is not me. I did none of that. I would've run every other day if I didn't have that stupid heel pain that makes it impossible to walk for the next couple days thereafter. (I am seeing a podiatrist soon, so I will have more great advice for runners after my appointment, once I know what I'm doing wrong.)

So, in other words, my lungs were not conditioned to the point I would've liked them to be. I'm going to assume many of you reading this are in the same boat. What I have to tell you will be invaluable. First of all, make your you exercise a good couple months (at least) prior to the race. You will want to build up your endurance, even if you aren't a runner. I cannot stress this enough: do weight training. Prepare your legs for a long run. 5K equals 3.1 miles. Driving 3.1 miles in a car is a blip in time. It doesn't seem very far. I'm here to tell you that 3.1 miles is no blip. It's more of a (bleep).

Okay. Second of all, even brisk walking will help condition your lungs, but the best conditioning is interval training. Run as fast as you can as far as you can. Stop, gasp, and walk. When your breath has regulated, run as fast as you can again. Continue until you are a blob on your lawn, hoping for rain. You have now begun to condition your lungs for running. You should work on this gradually, of course, and consult your physician to make sure you're a good candidate for this type of training. It can be hard on the heart.

If you can slowly train yourself to run three miles (and for me, it's four), you will be able to handle a 5K, no problem. If you're looking for first place, though, don't be 5 foot 3, racing against women who are 6 feet tall and have the legs of a gazelle. I speak from personal experience, here. But if you are short and still want to do well, here is practical advice from someone who used to be clueless until her very first race.

1) Wear comfortable clothes. Sweat + tight clothes and underwear = uncomfortable chafing. Don't let this be you! Placing Band-Aids in places the sun don't shine is not a great way to end a race.

2) Do not start off going too fast. I had started the race toward the back, and ended up passing 90% of the people right off the bat thinking, "Ha! Suckers." A mile later I was thinking, "I'm the worst sucker of all. I'm a Dum-Dum!" (Disclaimer: Dum Dum is a trademark name.)

3) If you want to win, don't stop for water. But if you're mouth tastes like dried spit, grab a water, suck it down, throw the cup to the pavement. Yes, they told me I could drop the cup. I had hesitated, wondering what to do, which took, like, an extra ten seconds off my time. And seconds are important in a race, gosh darn it! Next time, I'll know better.

4) Look for the signs that tell you where you are mile-wise in the race. They can help you slow or speed your pacing. Me? I was just hoping to keep going without collapsing. When I saw the sign for 2 miles I was like, really? That's all? I turned to the man walking beside me (this tells you how much I'd slowed down by then) and I gasped, "There's no end in sight!"

5) The man beside me was walking AND running his way to the finish line. Not a bad plan, especially if you've conditioned your lungs to deal with fast sprints. Consider this option. He finished the race right after I did, and I ran the whole freaking way!

6) When you see the finish sign, decide (quickly) whether or not you can charge at it without passing out. I did this, and cut a few seconds off my time, plus got the dang race over with just that much quicker.

7) Do NOT stop moving after you've run. Walk it out for at LEAST five minutes to slow your heart rate gradually. Then STRETCH, or you will be sorry the next day.

I had a great time, despite the fact I didn't pace myself and was winded way too soon. But I managed to push myself, something I'm used to doing, and guess what? I ran the entire thing in 26:28. I came in at 21st place, and as the 7th female, despite my short stature. (Gazelle-leg woman came in at 20:00, beating out even the teen boys! I was quite impressed.) My friend (and neighbor), Kari, beat her old time, coming in at 27:58, the 10th female. She did great, too. (I'm always happy to give kudos to hard-working runners.)

So if you're considering a 5K, my advice in a nutshell: train ahead of time with weights and with practice runs. Wear comfy clothes that don't bind. Find a good pace and stick with it...don't start off too fast. If you need water, grab, drink, toss. Don't stop. Charge the finish line. Stretch afterward. Oh, and my best piece of advice? Use the bathroom before you race. After the race, I heard a few horror stories about marathon racers and how they sometimes mess their pants, if you know what I mean.

And number one? Have fun! It goes fast, despite being more a (bleep) than a blip.

Body Image

There's been a lot of controversy over body image/self-esteem for a while now. Heavy people should be able to love themselves despite their weight. Advertisements shouldn't depict an impossibly skinny female because it will affect teens. And now it has been refuted that heavier kids aren't as smart as their thinner peers. (I had no idea that had been a theory in the first place!)

I don't understand why there's such a stink over the whole issue. The truth is, we've become a very lazy nation. We don't ride our bikes to work, we eat whatever and whenever we like, and we sit around in front of the TV munching on chips and slurping down sodas.

If you're happy with that, why is everyone getting upset over this whole body image thing? And if you aren't happy with it, then change it.

Easy for you, you might be thinking. You're thin. Probably never had a body image problem in your life.

It's true that I'm satisfied with the way I look now, but that's only because I work hard at being healthy. (Pretty sad, isn't it? That being healthy takes work, I mean. Wasn't too long ago people walked everywhere they needed to go. They couldn't afford cars. Even taking care of a horse and carriage was an expense. People worked in fields, hunted for their own meat. There was no Wii. No artificial fillers in food. No super-size anything.)

But I used to wish for for a more curvy figure. Wider hips, larger chest. While the rest of me stayed thin, of course. Most times, especially as we age, we can't have it both ways. So yes, we do need to accept what nature gave us.

On one of the doctor shows on TV (I believe it was Dr. Oz), the host asked the audience, "Who here believes they have a slow metabolism?" Just about everyone raised their hand. He advised them to rev up their metabolism by exercising.

So here's what I'm getting at. Plenty of people are miserable with their creeping weight, how they fit in clothes, and that advertisers continue to use skinny models to show off their products. They also blame their sluggish metabolism. My point is, if you aren't happy with yourself, make changes. That needs to be applied to all aspects of your life, not just weight. Because often when we are unhappy with our life, we eat to make us feel better. I know that I do. If I'm miserable, I cheer myself up with a large ice cream sundae. Now imagine feeling miserable every day (and for some of you, you actually do feel miserable everyday, so this isn't  stretch). Now envision eating junk to fill yourself with comfort. What happens? You feel worse. So the cycle continues.

Body image isn't the problem. It's the side effect. I am going to play the part of life coach, and give you a weekly post on how you can change your life for the better. And you know what? I'm going to follow it as well and see if it can help me, too.

I'm going to back up my findings with research, so it's not as if it's me just shouting out, "Hey, I think coloring in coloring books will bring us joy, so let's all do that! Hooray!" It might be true, but without backup sources, how can I prove it?

So let's fix ourselves from the inside out. Will you join me?

The "Child Obesity" Problem

Every time I open a newspaper (yes, I still do that, even if it is an archaic form of reading about events) or read news reports on-line I see information about the "child obesity" problem we have in the U.S.A. I will admit that over the years I've seen chubbier kids. I've also seen chubbier adults. In general, Americans are gaining weight. There's good news and bad news about this. Which one do you want first? The good news?

Good news: The recession hadn't starved everyone. The government isn't rationing food like it did in the past during times of war. Food is plentiful. We seem to have an overabundance in America, unlike many other parts of the world where supply and demand creates a government-controlled entity. People can waste food and not think twice.

Bad news: We are spoiled. We don't have to grow or prepare our own food. We can grab it on the run. We can eat it when we're bored. We can use it to cheer us up. It's a crutch for many of us. Including our children, who model themselves after us.

First off, a disclaimer. Not everyone is meant to be thin. Some people's bodies hold onto fat better than other people's bodies. These are the people who, if times got real tough and there wasn't enough food to go around, would probably outlive the skinny people out there. I believe in loving and accepting ourselves no matter what. Some children are going to be heavier than others. Some kids eat a varied diet and are satisfied, other kids, like my own, will only eat two types of vegetables and one kind of fruit, and we parents are happy if they eat half a sandwich for lunch. Kids are not a one-size-fits-all product.

Okay, here are my feelings on this so-called epidemic. A lot of these kids are eating fast food because their parents are busy. After work they're running their children to sports, dance, drama club...any number of activities. With only a half hour in-between, who has time to cook and eat? No one, that's who. And there's no time to argue with a child over a request for a high-fat option versus the less tastier, healthier venue. Sure, you could order the healthier one anyway, but most kids will stubbornly refuse to eat it and go hungry instead. That is, until they come home famished and raid the cookie cupboard.

Also, one would think if a child is attending baseball three times a week, that's plenty of exercise, right? Wrong. Watch the kids. What are they doing? Most of the time they're standing around, waiting for a ball to come to them in the outfield or waiting for a turn at bat. If they're lucky, they'll get to run toward a wayward ball once in a while. So specialized sports, while great for teaching discipline and sportsmanship, should not be the child's only form of exercise. How to get more exercise for your kid? A game of tag! If you play the game with your children they'll be so thrilled it can go on forever. A plus? You'll get exercise, too.

A lot of these children, when not standing in turn to hit a ball or eating fat-filled fast food, are playing video games, Wii, Gameboy, etc. They're thumbs are getting a good workout, but the rest of their bodies? Not so much. I know this is a big "duh," yet many parents put up with it. Why? Because it prevents the kids from attacking one another in a physical sense. They can work as a team to go after the "bad guys." This means a mom or dad can get work done around the house without having to stop every five minutes to pull the kids apart. I can relate! But when we rely on this "babysitter," our kids become addicted to the games and don't want to play outside where they can run around.

Okay, I know. I know. I've heard this, too: some kids live in rough neighborhoods and it's too dangerous to play outside. First off, I think it's a damn shame that poverty forces people to live in undesirable neighborhoods. I could rant more on this, but it's a sticky subject, so I won't. I understand a parent's concern over this. If there are free after-school programs where kids can play sports, it's helpful. If there aren't, or if there's no way to transport the child to and from these places, consider finding a place in the home for active play. It could be as simple as putting up a Nerf basket ball hoop over the closet door. Or find large boxes and let the kids build a castle with them and play games where they have to jump up and run around the castle to get away from dragons. Be creative. But try to dissuade the kids from video games.

Here is my last opinion on this matter. Many kids are eating out of boredom. Or guilt. Or depression. The list goes on. They are battling the same types of stress adults deal with daily. We try to treat them mini adults. We have years of learned wisdom they don't yet possess. They can't think problems through like we can. Food becomes a great comfort. Fail a quiz? A Snickers bar will help. I fear this is becoming more common, especially when children model on their parents, who might grab a beer at the end of the workday to relieve stress. Or eat an ice cream sundae when feeling blue. Can we find better ways to handle stress and teach those methods to our kids? After a bad day at school, maybe a kid needs to listen to music and draw pictures. Your child is bored? Help her come up a dance routine instead of letting her run to the fridge. Then do these activities yourself to model the behavior. You will find your appetite waning along with your child's.

In the end, we all want what's best for our kids. Parents know when their children are "heavy." And while some choose to wait it out, knowing a growth spurt might be all that's needed for the child to be at a healthy weight for his/her height, others may wish to get a head start by finding alternatives to their lifestyle. Most don't want their children on a "diet," and I agree. Many adults can't even stick to a diet, how can a child?

I'm open to other ideas. What can be done to prevent children from becoming obese? What do you think is the cause? And is the government handling it well? Should the government be involved at all? I'd love to hear your opinions.

Happiness Is...Running Without Pain

I haven't been running much because of my bad foot and some new sciatic nerve problem I've developed. Apparently age is creeping up on me. Anyhow, I decided to run four miles Saturday and managed to do it without collapsing.

During my run, there's this yard I pass on the way home where a man has planted rocks in semi-circle formation. Because of the way the rocks face, it always looks like his landscaping is smiling at me. For some reason, the thought of reaching that keeps me going.


By the way, if you are a sports clothing designer, may I suggest making running shorts with pockets? With my awful outdoor allergies, I need to keep a handful of tissue handy. It would also be nice not to have to tie my house key to my shoelaces. And if I could keep my phone somewhere instead of holding it in my hand as I run, that would be even better! So a roomy zippered pocket would be ideal. Yes, I am aware there are fanny packs (so archaic, aren't they?) and I own one. But even tied as tight as I can make it, it slides up and down my waist as I run. Oh, and I suggest always to take a phone with you in case you run into trouble or suddenly don't feel well. Especially in this heat. You could have a heart attack or stroke. 


I'm not sure what's going on with sciatic nerve thingamajig. But my sister says she gets that pain too, so I'm guessing it's hereditary. I do know that two pairs of my sneakers give me heel pain. Maybe they need to be replaced? My Asics so far are the only pair I can wear and feel comfortable. 


Do you have pain when you run? Do you have a favorite pair of sneakers? What do you bring with you when you run? I'm curious to know!

 

Lifestyle Changes

Recently a writer acquaintance of mine blogged about dieting. She wanted to lose weight and look good for the summer beach. Truth be told, I loathe the word diet. Oh, we all use it. "I can't have that third slice of cake, I'm on a diet." But what exactly does it mean? To me it sounds temporary. Like something borrowed that has to eventually be returned. "Thanks for the use of the diet, but I'm at the size I want to be, so you can have it back now."

If you are looking to lose weight, become more toned, or feel stronger and more vibrant, you need to consider a lifestyle change. It can be as small as walking a mile every other day or as encompassing as hitting the gym daily while noshing mainly on fruits and veggies. But this will have to continue the remainder of your life. Once you hit your target of, say, 140 pounds, if this is where you want to stay, you can't return to your old ways.

Here's what I mean. I apologize if you've read this story before in one of my other blog posts, but it bears repeating. When I was in my 30's I worked in a retail store. People brought in donuts and cake regularly. Maybe to ease the tedious days of folding shirts and sweaters? Maybe to celebrate a birthday? Whatever the reason, junk food was readily available. My co-workers didn't care for me passing on the invitation to indulge. Once in awhile I'd reach for a donut, but I knew I couldn't have more than one, nor could I eat one everyday. My metabolism was already showing signs of slowing, and I didn't want to encourage it to conk out altogether. The responses I'd get? "It's one donut, it's not gonna hurt you." And "You're skinny. You can stand to eat a couple donuts." Or "Look at you. You can eat what you want."

That was the point. I didn't eat what I wanted to eat. Between that and moving around a lot on the sales floor, I kept my weight steady for years. The truth is, the older you get, the more often you need to change both your diet and your exercise plan. That is, if you don't want to turn to mush by the time you're 70.

Those of you who have been steady readers understand that my main focus is keeping my cholesterol levels down. I could stand to lose a little belly fat (and some around my back), but for the most part I think I'm pretty healthy. But I exercise three times a week for at least an hour each time, and I don't consume much meat, and try to load up on the green stuff. I love my cookies and pastries, so there's my downfall. If I could quit my sugar addiction, I'd be perfect. But that's one lifestyle change I have yet to master.

Dieting is temporary. It's a way to trim the fat until you've hit your ideal weight. But it doesn't last because once you're there it's easy to think, "I did it! Now where's that ice cream sundae award I've been waiting for?" And suddenly you're sitting in the breakroom with a gigantic bag of Fritos in your lap. A lifestyle change? Fritos are replaced by carrot sticks and a couple of saltines. Dieting: "I'm at 135! Perfect! I was getting sick of running on the treadmill." Lifestyle change: "Running on the treadmill is getting lackluster. Maybe this week I'll master the Precor."

See the difference?

Oh, sure, a Frito or eight won't hurt once a week, and skipping the workout because you're not feeling well (or you've pulled a groin muscle) is fine. But being that it's now routine to eat better and get exercise, the break is temporary. Like a diet is temporary. Only better.

What I've Learned About Running (That I Should've Known)

1) People would rather see you model too-tight spandex running shorts than watch you surreptitiously wipe your nose on your sleeve because you forgot to bring tissue on your run.
2) Bugs adhere to sticky lip gloss.
3) You can not outrun dogs. Cross the street when you see one. Don't assume there is Invisible Fence. Or that the dog cares about Invisible Fence.
4) Not all sidewalks are even. If there is a tree planted close by, assume a part of the sidewalk has been raised by humongous roots. If you are clumsy, avoid the sidewalk and run on the tree lawn instead.
5) Not all cars stop to allow you to cross. Only the ones with nice people inside them. These people are likely to not be envious of your devotion to your health. Mean people hate anyone who unintentionally reminds them they are due for their checkup. And they haven't yet had their coffee.
6) If there is thunder rumbling in the distance, it will probably rain.
7) If the sky blackens quickly, it will probably rain.
8) If the forecast calls for rain, it will probably be sunny.
9) On windy days, your hat will fly off your head and you will spend an inordinate amount of time chasing after it.
10) People will gawk at you as they ride by in their cars. You may think this is because you look sexy in your workout clothes. It will really be because you look like you might pass out any second.